I knew that feedback was very crucial to the improvement the film so I made sure a rough cut was available early for demonstration.
The viewers mentioned the title sequence could be improved as the definition at the start was not clear enough and was easily ignored – one viewer had no idea what the film was about as he missed the definition, which only lasted about 3 seconds and was white (even with a black drop shadow) on a light background. It is again evident that the condition is so rare that it is not very well known even to the point that people could not pronounce the term itself, as I had people asking me how to pronounce it. So to combat all of this I dedicated the first 10 seconds of the short film to a detailed dictionary definition complete with pronunciation, origin of the word with a nice tense sound effect in the background – presented with white text amongst a clear black background. So even if a person looks away at the start and looks back they will see the definition as clearly as snow. I honestly don’t think I can make it even clearer; although the method used in ‘My Own Private Idaho’ is fairly interesting I opted to make something similar.
Furthermore my sound editing was really sloppy in the rough cut with a bunch of random ambient sounds that didn’t really flow well; I took time to find more matching sounds and mixed them with the ambient audio to make the audio and video more integrated. It is very hard to find perfectly matching audio when working with music from creative commons and free sound effects, etc, but after a few days of searching and mixing in Adobe Premiere the results were satisfactory. It gave an appropriately tense feel to the attempted mugging scene and the later mugging scene. Amongst others things I fixed up a few continuity errors and improved a few shots, including a double cut for the attempted mugging, and did a voiceover for the final scene to get rid of the wind sound. Although people mentioned me breaking the 180 rule during the shop scene it was done on purpose to disorientate the audience. Overall the feedback I received was amazing and really helped out from rough cut to final cut.
Unfortunately due to the rarity of the condition I could only look at one mainstream film and two short films. My own short was based more on real life stories and how the condition affects gets affected and taken advantage of by others. I thought my idea involving the couple with the girl and guy cheating on their boyfriend and friend was slightly better as it would appeal to the majority but was unable to do it because I could not arrange actors.